A BIT OF HUMOUR
Page 38.
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Amazing how this story gets more embellished as time passes...
I posted it as I knew the story; no stretching at all.
Seems like it would be the kind of story that lends itself to ridiculous lengthening and embellishment, though. (Doesn't anything that involves Americans?)
An AFF QFF NB moseys up to the priority check-in line for QF1 (on the new A380) to LHR even though he's only booked in B class. With a smug look on his face, he eyes the lady at the desk and, with a smooth, suave demeanor, says, "Say, you're looking gorgeous today....how's about being a good girl and giving me a First upgrade?"
The pretty lady flutters her eyes and replies, "Well, I think it's your lucky day. We actually have a spare suite on our A380 today, and due to operational reasons Economy has been severely overbooked. We don't really want to deal with the back log of complaints, and since you were so nice and so charming, I'm going to change your class to First. You'll now have access to our world acclaimed First lounge including signature food offering. And I've just put an order ahead for an appointment at our premier spa for a massage and special facial package. You'll also be pleased to hear that we've also managed to procure a very special order of Krug champagne that we're offering only tonight to our valued First class guests on QF1 to London-Heathrow, which will be shared with our award-winning designer Marc Newson in the First lounge. Finally, you will receive a special set of our luxurious pyjamas signed personally by Akira Isogawa."
The man cannot hardly believe it as his heart missed a beat on every second word. Finally, he exclaims, "Wow! You're joking, right???!"
The woman at the desk replies, "Of course. But you started it. Now get lost NB", handing him a boarding pass for 88F.
An AFF QFF NB moseys up to the priority check-in line for QF1 (on the new A380) to LHR even though he's only booked in B class. With a smug look on his face, he eyes the lady at the desk and, with a smooth, suave demeanor, says, "Say, you're looking gorgeous today....how's about being a good girl and giving me a First upgrade?"
The pretty lady flutters her eyes and replies, "Well, I think it's your lucky day. We actually have a spare suite on our A380 today, and due to operational reasons Economy has been severely overbooked. We don't really want to deal with the back log of complaints, and since you were so nice and so charming, I'm going to change your class to First. You'll now have access to our world acclaimed First lounge including signature food offering. And I've just put an order ahead for an appointment at our premier spa for a massage and special facial package. You'll also be pleased to hear that we've also managed to procure a very special order of Krug champagne that we're offering only tonight to our valued First class guests on QF1 to London-Heathrow, which will be shared with our award-winning designer Marc Newson in the First lounge. Finally, you will receive a special set of our luxurious pyjamas signed personally by Akira Isogawa."
The man cannot hardly believe it as his heart missed a beat on every second word. Finally, he exclaims, "Wow! You're joking, right???!"
The woman at the desk replies, "Of course. But you started it. Now get lost NB", handing him a boarding pass for 88F.
Member of: QC Life, SQ, CX, AA, collection of hotel programs
Posts: 619
Re: A BIT OF HUMOUR
It was a stifling hot day and a man fainted in the middle of a busy intersection. Traffic quickly piled up in all directions, and a woman rushed to help him.
As she knelt down to loosen his collar, a man emerged from the crowd, pushed her aside, and said, "It's all right honey, I've had a course in first aid."
The woman stood up and watched as he took the ill man's pulse and prepared to administer artificial respiration.
At this point she tapped him on the shoulder and said, "When you get to the part about calling a doctor, I'm already here."
Looks like an errant cross post so I was trying to make a hook out of that breaking the continuity of this thread.
Seems like it's badly backfired.
Anyway....to break the boredom and back into the humour:
[at a restaurant]
Man (to waiter): "Bring me an omelette."
Waiter: "French or Spanish, sir?"
Man: "Who cares?! I'm going to eat it, not speak to it."
---
[another, at a restaurant]
Man (to lady behind counter): "I'd like a coffee without cream please."
Counter Lady: "We're out of cream, sir, but I can get you a coffee without milk."
---
[another one again, at a restaurant]
Man (to waiter): "Waiter! There's a spider in my soup!"
Waiter: "It's the fly's day off, sir."
A newlywed couple enter their hotel room. As soon as the door closes, the husband takes off his pants and throws them to his wife. He tells her to put them on.
The pants are too loose for the wife to wear. "I can't wear the pants," she says.
"That's right!" the husband replies, "And that's how it's going to be for the rest of our lives!"
The wife then thinks and removes her underwear and throws them to her husband. She tells him to put them on.
He is struggling to get them up past his legs. "I can't get into your panties, dear," he says.
"That's right!" the wife replies, "And that's how it's going to be until that attitude of yours changes!"
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