A BIT OF HUMOUR

JohnK · #**101** (**permalink**) 8th May 2007, 09:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by codash1099

I haven't tested that link but from memory, it's supposed to show a computer counting down, presumably to some sort of conflagration.

Yes I got the countdown and then 6 zeros flashing on the screen.

simongr · #**102** (**permalink**) 8th May 2007, 09:52 AM

I think its the arabic writing that is meant to scare people... like its a bomb...

serfty · #**103** (**permalink**) 8th May 2007, 10:16 AM

Somewhere in the background I think I hear the "Mission Impossible" theme music ...

Mal · #**104** (**permalink**) 8th May 2007, 04:39 PM

Airline Partners Australia.

Keeping people amused with their clown like antics since December 2006.

serfty · #**105** (**permalink**) 8th May 2007, 04:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mal

Airline Partners Australia.

Keeping people amused with their clown like antics since December 2006.

Somewhere in the background I think I hear the "Mission Improbable" theme music ...

straitman · #**106** (**permalink**) 10th May 2007, 09:30 PM

*INSTRUCTIONS; for Men and Women

PRINT AND PIN TO BATHROOM MIRROR It's really not difficult...

To make a woman happy; a man only needs to be :

1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynaecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organiser
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
44. give her compliments regularly
45. love shopping
46. be honest
47. be very rich
48. not stress her out
49. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
50. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
51. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
52. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
53. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY :
1. Shag him
2. Leave him in peace

JohnK · #**107** (**permalink**) 10th May 2007, 10:24 PM

Thanks for reminding me why I am still single!

oz_mark · #**108** (**permalink**) 10th May 2007, 11:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by straitman

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY :
1. Shag him
2. Leave him in peace

Shouldn't beer be in there somewhere?

codash1099 · #**109** (**permalink**) 11th May 2007, 09:53 AM

Two newlyweds arrive at the honeymoon suite on their wedding
night. The groom says,

"Honey, I've got a confession to make...I'm addicted to golf! I
have to be out on the course morning, noon, and night. I don't
know how you want to deal with it, but I'm going to be out there"

"That's OK!" said his blushing bride, "I've got a confession to
make too... I'm a hooker!"

"No big deal!" replied the groom, "Just loosen your grip, and
open the club face."

straitman · #**110** (**permalink**) 11th May 2007, 07:55 PM

Subject: Operations!

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other outside the operating room.

The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"

The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."

The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-o and ice cream. It's a breeze."

The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?"

The first kid says, "A circumcision."

"Whoa!", the second kid replies. "Good luck buddy. I had that done when I was born. Couldn't walk for a year."