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Seat pre-allocation can be a black art. Since your two tickets were purchased separately, it is likely they were purchased at different times. Each seat allocation likely matched the FF profile according to the seats available at the time of booking. Note that seats are allocated when the reservation is made, not when the ticket is issued.
Pre-allocations can only be made until a certain percentage of the cabin has been allocated, then its all done at the airport. This allows some flexibility for seating groups together.
You can call QF and have the two bookings linked so they know you want to sit together.
Forward seats are often (usually) reserved for elite FF status members for pre-allocation. That generally means QF Platinum and Gold members and equiv OneWorld status members. It is possible that the seat next to your wife has already been allocated to someone else, and they should not be expected to move that person to accommodate you. It is also possible that the seat you desire is not yet allocated, but reserved for elite FF status members. If this is the case, then it should be available to you as a Gold status member.
Try calling back again. It can't hurt. And its amazing how getting a different agent can end in a different result.
If you were a Platinum FF member, you could request to be put through to the Premium Desk (if you don't get there on the initial call) and they are generally very helpful. I am not sure if Gold members get access to the Premium Desk, but it may be worth asking.
But its not a long flight. And I would happy just to sit together in any row and not be overly concerned about being forward or aft. Forward is nice, but unless its the bulkhead row you seek, the only difference is going to be how quickly you get off the aircraft upon arrival.
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